92: personal believe

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"What belief about yourself no longer serves you?"

I used to believe that I was an independent person, I didn't need anyone's help. Asking for help is a sign of weakness, and that I'm incapable of handling my own problem. Even if I'm in desperate need of help, I'll be a burden to someone, and I'll owe them a big time for their courtesy. I've been living under this belief for as long as I could remember. Funnily enough, vice versa doesn't apply in situations. I have no problem in lending help to anyone without having anything in return nor do I think of others being weak just by asking for my help. Huh, I wonder why was that.

At some point in my life, things started to change and I started to see things differently. Being the eldest daughter in the family, I get why my parents remind me a lot of the importance of being independent and self-sufficient, especially when I live far away from my parents. Due to circumstances, people's expectations and honestly, my own self-belief, it was hard to unlearn and relearn what exactly it means by 'being independent and self-sufficient'. Understanding the nuance of being independent and self-sufficient is a way to go. I learn to look at it in a spectrum and see that standing in the middle at both spectra ends. Being hyper-independent will 'cause a price for you, and so does being co-dependent on someone else. It is a long way to go for me, but hey, at least I'm in the right direction.

Looking back on my life, I can give myself a smile and a pat on the back. I did a great job. Thank you dear self. Now, I believe that I still am an independent person, BUT, also know when to rely on others too. I will never stop learning, until the day I die.