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Playing music: Falling Behind // Laufey
Hallo die Schikeria!
"When you're looking for love and it seems like you might not ever find it, remember you probably have an access to an abundance of it already, just not the romantic kind." - Dolly Alderton
This is a pretty viral book that trending on social media, and there's a reason why it's viral. At first, I thought it was a fiction book that tells the story on how a 20-ish lady is on a journey in seeking romantic love. I mean, the summary is true, but this is more on the author's personal experience rather than a fictional kind. I'm not actually a fan of reading autobiography kind of books, 'cause I think that's pretty self-centered and it more like I read someone else's diary (which is creepy on its own but that just me tho), but this book maybe one of the exceptions that I can vibe with.
Overall, I agree to most of the points that she highlights and there are some of her experiences I can relate to my own experience. She talks about how her thought process and experience throughout her teenage years, all bad dates that she's been through during her early 20s, how she felt and experience when her friendships start to shift because of love, how she lived her life wild and free but never feel content with it, and later she starts to seek therapy for better life and how she grown and learn throughout her late 20s.
At first, I felt so hard to read her life stories in her early 20s, because I can't relate to a hardcore life party. I'm such an introverted person, heck, I can barely stand going into small party for more than 2 hours. But there are some of her experience that I can relate to, and I can relate how she came to the conclusion of the situation given. One of the relatable part is where she felt like she lost her best friend when, her bff starts to be in a relationship with a guy.
"I've heard it said to me repeatedly by women I love during my twenties when they move in with boyfriends, get engaged, move abroad, get married, get pregnant. 'Nothing will change.' It drives me bananas. Everything will change. The love we have for each other stays the same, but the format, the tone, the regularity and the intimacy of our friendship will change forever." - pg. 133
She was right. I have experienced pretty similar thing as hers. My friends promise me that things will be the same between us, or promise me that they'll stay single until the time comes. Yet, months later, they found the so-called significant others, and everything changes. It was never the same as before ever. When I first encounter the situation, I was so devastated that I despised every man existed, every romance I saw along the way and my trust issue with people were over the roof. I don't understand why I have to sacrifice years of friendship that I had to a guy who barely know what her favourite comfort food is. I don't understand why I have to feel miserable for other people happiness. I don't understand why they look more happier with their so-called s/o but not that happy when they were with me.
Later on, I learn that it was just a phase in life. It is hell-hole if you asked me, but it is what it is. Things will change no matter what. I learn to be okay with the change. I learn to be in peace with the situation. I learn to understand my feelings and validate it, 'cause I was being hard on myself. I learn not to hate much with whoever people that my friends ended up with. Most importantly, I learn that good friends will stay with you no matter the changes.
There are other sections of this book that I have similar view with the author, and I love how she explain in details of her experience and her thoughts. Its kind of a comfort that a big sister gives reassurance that her little sister will be alright. I will give this book 4.25/5 stars, and recommend anyone who needs some assurance going through womanhood in their 20s.
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